May
A Month to Honor Mothers

When I was studying Romans 16 in Bible College, Paul's letter did not do much for me. It struck me as being boring nothing more than a long presentation of people’s names, most of whom I could not pronounce; I usually skimmed over that part so I could get to what I considered to be the real Gospel. Over the years however, I have changed my attitude about this particular chapter and I have discovered that there is much more to it than I had first imagined. For example, it is interesting to note that of the twenty-six people who Paul singles out for his personal greeting, six were women. That strikes me as being rather interesting, since Paul has frequently gotten a bum rap for being a male chauvinist. I think it also shows us the tremendous influence that women had in the early church. In the male oriented first century Palestine, it is telling that Paul could not describe the church without mentioning the significant role of women.
 
Verse 13 is very interesting and it is one that scholars have struggled with over the centuries. Paul writes: "Give my greetings to Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine." Now this statement could be taken two ways. It could mean that Paul had two distinct women in mind, the mother of Rufus and his own personal mother. Or, he could be saying: "I salute Rufus and his mother, who is like a mother to me." If that is what he meant, and most Biblical scholars agree that that is indeed what he meant, then it raises some interesting speculation. When and where did Paul meet Rufus’ mother? Did she nurse him through some serious illness? Did she receive him into her home for an extended stay during his missionary journeys? How did this woman and Paul form such a close bond that he refers to her fondly as being like his mother? Mark tells us that Simon of Cyrene, the man who carried Jesus cross, had two sons: Alexander and Rufus. Was this the same Rufus to whom Paul was speaking? If that is true, his mother would be Simon of Syrene’s wife. No one knows for sure who this remarkable woman was who served as a mother figure for Paul. But it really makes no difference, because what he writes makes an excellent springboard for a Mother’s Day discussion.
 
Some people ridicule Mother’s Day as a lot of sentimental foolishness. They say that it is nothing more than the creation of the greeting card companies and the florists. And, to be perfectly candid, there are many ministers who shun this day because, they say, it is not a religious holiday. Furthermore, they preach from the lectionary, which has an assigned scriptural reading each week, and therefore mother’s day is left out.

Well, of course, we must admit that there is sentiment to this day, but what is wrong with that. Seems to me that a little bit of sentiment is healthy. True enough, there are some women in the Bible, such as Jezebel and the vindictive Herodias, who had John the Baptist beheaded, who tarnish the institution of motherhood. There are women today who abandon, abuse, and corrupt their children and who create a poor model, but I like to think that these are the exceptions. Most mothers do the right thing and deserve recognition. So this month I would like to join Paul and honor all of the mothers who are reading this.
 
First, mothers should be honored for their persistent love.
Secondly, mothers should be honored for their tremendous impact.

Third, mothers should be honored because where they are at, that is where home is.



The Bible recognizes women in positions of power - women who contributed to making the world a better place. Here are a few:

• Miriam who led the people in praising God after the
  crossing of the Red Sea (Ex 15:21),
  
  
• Ruth who put God first and became the ancestress of King David (Ruth 1:16;4:17),
  
  
• Deborah, a judge in Israel (Judges 5),
  
  
• Hannah who 'lent to the Lord' the child of her prayers
  (1Sam 1:28),
  
  
• Esther who took her life in her hands to plead for her
  doomed people,
  
  
• The widow whose obedience sustained the prophet Elijah (1Kings 17:9-16),
  
  
• A little captive maid who told Naaman's wife of the man of
  God who could cure Naaman of his leprosy (2Kings 5:2-4),
  
  
• The woman who anointed Jesus with the expensive
  ointment (Mk14:3),
  
  
• The poor widow's gift of two mites which won Jesus' praise (Mk 12:43),
  
  
• Mary who gave birth to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords (Luke 1:28),
  
  
• Martha who served and Mary who sat at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42),
  
  
• Mary Magdalene who brought spices to anoint Jesus, who first greeted the risen Lord and who received the first commission -'Go tell' (Jn 20:17-18; Mk 16:9),
  
  
• Lydia one of the first converts in Macedonia (Acts 16:14),
  
  
• Dorcas - full of good works (Acts 9:36),
  
  
• Phebe & Priscilla - servants of the church (Ro 16:1-4),
  
  
• Lois and Eunice who had sincere faith (2Tim 1:5),
  
  
• Persis 'the beloved' and Tryphena and Tryphosa who laboured for the Lord (Romans 16:12).

In 1963 Betty Friedan wrote a book called 'The Feminine Mystique' in which she claimed that women are trapped in an unwanted life of domesticity. Translated into English that means that most women don't really want to be 'stay at home mums'. Three years later the same woman founded The National Organization For Women, a radical political organization designed to promote the cause now known as feminism. Radical feminism assaults the self-esteem of women who make motherhood a priority. To them the work of child raising is better done in a day care setting, while women find their place in the world by competing with men for all that the world of business and commerce can offer. Most people in our community don't want to be identified with the agenda of that radical movement, but the extremists have moved people in the middle toward the belief that it is not personally fulfilling just to stay at home and be a mother. The structure of our society is such that the woman who has worth and value is one who runs a business, serves in a political office or is the nightly T V newsreader. It's not for me to say women shouldn't do these things, but can't we do something to let the mothers of the world know that preparing meals, running the kids to dental appointments and to basketball practice, and putting a Band-Aid in a child's skinned knee are all valuable acts of service and even essential to the development of children

For awhile now psychologists have been saying that the bonding of baby with mother in the first few minutes of life is vital for the stability of any child and that that bonding through childhood has greater importance than the input the father has at that time. That is not to say his contribution is unimportant. But when the child reaches adolescence the mother's role diminishes relatively and the father becomes vitally important. He helps to affirm his son in his manhood, in a type of informal initiation. The Jewish culture places importance on the Barmitzva, and some cultures have much more horrific forms of initiation. But the father’s role with his daughter is also of greater importance as the adolescent girl develops. She desperately needs to hear from her father that she is attractive and capable. From the lips of some other male it is less believable.

One writer suggests that one of the great struggles of Jesus life grew out of the tension He felt between the love of his mother and the call to be about His Father's business. From the few glimpses we get of Mary in the Gospels, she bears all the marks of a loving and protective mother. After all she had gone through quite a bit to bring that life into the world. Considering the shame and the misunderstanding, considering the circumstances of his conception, she would have been anxious to spare him any scandal. Her feelings of protectiveness were very evident in the mix-up there at the temple in Jerusalem, and what we see coming out is in the classic tradition of a mother's supportive, protective and enveloping love.

The pull of what Jesus spoke of as 'His Father's business' tended to call Jesus beyond the boundaries of his mothers little world of safety and into larger areas of concern. His curiosity about the temple and the traditions of His people represent a sort of pulling away from his mother and a reaching out to bigger things. And of course this was only the beginning of what proved to be some rather frightening things for His mother. On several occasions Mary attempted to intervene and to save Jesus from all this danger, but with no effect and finally her worst fears came true as she saw him executed as a common criminal. A cross was where all this talk about 'His Father's business' had gotten Him, and Mary's heart ended up as the angel had predicted, pierced through by the sword of suffering.

These two forces, His mother's protection and the need to be about His Father's business, were very evident as Jesus' life unfolded and it seems to me that this is the case not just for Him but for all of us. A mother's love stands for that part of us which is concerned about safety and security. And what Jesus called the demands of his Father's business are also a reality in each of us. These are the creative impulses, the pull of curiosity and adventure and growth that beckon us to move out and take risks. The classic roles as the psychologists define them fit with Jesus' experience. If the mother gives life and sustains it, the father calls forth the potential that is there. These two forces that had so much to do with shaping Jesus' personality are forces that interact on all of us. As I think about each of these forces I am overwhelmed by the importance of each. Certainly there is the grey between and there is overlap in some cases. But surely our greatest mistake today is in giving greater value to that creative impulse which belongs to the father. Women should not seek that role but recognize that their role as nurturer is foundational to their children's well being.

So you are thinking if you are a single parent that your kids don't have a chance. Sure it's God ideal for a child to have the security of both parents.  But single parents cope best if their children still have contact with and a loving relationship with the other parent. Mothers can offer their child the security they need if they too have a secure and loving relationship with their husbands. But mothers can make it alone but only I believe with the help of God. Billy Graham tells the story of a widow who recognized some special abilities in her son and did everything in her power to give him the best education possible. She grew vegetables, kept chickens, took in washing etc and sent her son to university. With graduation day pending the son gave his mother the invitation to attend. The mother's response was typical: 'I cannot go, I have nothing to wear'. But the son insisted and finally took her to the ceremony in her plain cotton dress. The son tried to take her to sit with his classmates wealthy parents but on this point she won and sat on the far left where she could still get a view. The son delivered his message and was handed his piece of paper and his medal, and with the sound of the exploding applause he went straight over to his mother and pinned the medal on her, saying 'Mother this belongs to you. You earned it'.



This mother had not achieved all that alone. Her faith in Jesus Christ and the values He taught her were her daily strength.

Let us remember that there are no perfect mothers, no perfect fathers, no perfect children but with God at the helm of our lives we can rest peaceful in the security of knowing that we belong securely to the Father, who both mothers and fathers those of us who allow him to.