June
A Month to Honor Fathers

Fathers’ Day is a great day for me.  My two sons will most likely bring me presents and most likely will help my wife make me breakfast in bed.  I look forward to receiving the handmade cards that my sons will have created.  

However, this may not be the case with everyone reading this today.  Some of you have sad memories of a father who mistreated you, even rejected you.  Some of you dads are hurting because you know there will be no contact today with your child that you loved.  There may be someone reading this who has abused a child and the guilt is overwhelming.

My own dad was an unhappy man that lacked affection towards all of his 4 children.  However,  I recall many times throughout my life while winning medals at swim competitions and having to stand on stage to receive those medals.  As I stood their accepting the medal, I would look out at my parents and notice my father’s face.  His face shined with pride. That look on his face carried me through many of the traumas that lied ahead of me. Unfortunately, I always felt I had to earn my father’s love and I have over the years recognized the transference of that attitude in the way I communicate and interact with my heavenly Father.

In Scripture, both Matthew and Luke explain the fact that Joseph was not the physical father of Jesus, but that Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born to a virgin. Having God as His real Father must have made a difference, but we know Jesus was also fully human.

When we begin to focus on Joseph it is disappointing to find just how little biographical information is given to us in Scripture. All we know of him is that he was a descendent of David from the village of Bethlehem and that he was a carpenter. He seems to have migrated north to the town of Nazareth and there he became engaged to Mary. The inference is that he may have been older than Mary, and may have died before Jesus commenced his public ministry. We do know that he was alive when Jesus went to Jerusalem at the age of 12, and that is the last mention of him in the Gospel record. Years later when Jesus performed his first miracle at the wedding feast at Cana, His mother was there and presumably alone, maybe a widow. These are the facts we have as a framework for Joseph’s life.

However there is a sequence of events that enable us to look deeply into his character. It was a time of personal crisis for Joseph. During the time of their engagement Joseph learned that his bride to be was pregnant and he knew that the child could not be his. This must have come as a overwhelming blow to him, and observing his reaction is a telling display of what he was really like.

In studying about Joseph, The late John R. Claypool, suggests that three qualities in Joseph provide clues to the developing character of Jesus:

1. He demonstrated mercy. Assuming Mary had been unfaithful would have been perfectly natural and so would bursting into a rage, because when we humans are hurt, our first reaction is to want to hurt back. But this was not the course he chose to take. After mulling it over in his mind he decided to “divorce her quietly” v19. Joseph is described as a “just man”, which meant he regulated his life by the Jewish law, and this law called for a woman caught in adultery to be publicly stoned. But Joseph was “unwilling to put her to shame” which means that not even his own hurt or legal considerations could over rule his compassion for Mary. He was serious enough about what had happened to plan to divorce her, but the fact of human imperfection did not blind him to the fact that here was a human being with feelings. So is it any wonder that years later the Young Man who was nurtured by this kind of father, would say to a fallen woman “My friend, I don't condemn you. Go and sin no more. I came to be part of the answer for sinful people, not to add to their burden.” In fact the compassion that Joseph shows here can be seen all through Jesus’ ministry.

2. As Joseph moved further into his crisis a second characteristic comes to light - an openness to incredible possibilities. As Joseph set about to dissolve their engagement quietly Mary no doubt shared with him what had occurred to her when first the angel and then the Holy Spirit had come and the story must have been very much on his mind. First he had learned that his fiancé was pregnant, he had managed to work through his feelings to the point he was not going to humiliate her and now she tells him that God was in it, things were not as he supposed but full of a mystery beyond imagining. It was almost more than his mind could handle, and Matthew says he “considered it”. Now what would most men have done? Laughed at her, ridiculed the very suggestion as ridiculous. But Joseph was not an ordinary man. He had already shown an extraordinary capacity for compassion, and now he was displaying an amazing acceptance of wonder and mystery. He was not one to say “Because I cannot understand it, it is not possible.” What Gabriel had said to Mary, Joseph obviously believed. “With God all things are possible.” He did not arrogantly throw the word “impossible” around; neither did he impose limits on God. That night in a dream the angel confirmed all that Mary was saying was in fact true. Only one who has a great sense of openness could have accepted such a possibility. This is the nature of faith. Being willing to let God be God and not restrict him to our narrow limits. We tend to decide beforehand what is possible and what is impossible and refuse to look beyond these self-imposed limits. Who are we, as creatures in this vast universe which we didn't make, to define what can and cannot be? Who of us is an absolute authority? Yet we continually assume this role and so drastically reduce the possibilities before us.
   
   However, this is not so with Joseph. He helped Jesus to relate positively to the mystery of life, and Jesus was helped to a right vision of the Father in heaven by the kind of father he had on earth. If we really want to participate with God in our day and age such openness to the incredible is essential.

3. A willingness to venture out on the basis of his “hunches.” However, this was not easy. There was no way to prove the accuracy of dreams ahead of time. So there was risk involved here but this was the path Joseph decided on. No matter how bizarre it seemed to common sense. So with nothing more than Mary’s word and the testimony of a dream, Joseph took a pregnant woman with a child not his own to be his wife. And once committed there were several adjustments he had to make. We all know that Joseph had to comply with the Roman Census, but it could well have been that Joseph took Mary away from the nagging tongues of Nazareth. He had the good sense not to push the point there because he didn't really expect others to believe the story. All this says to me is that Joseph was not just a influential man but a very sensitive one too. He was willing to trust the type of guidance that more cautious souls would back away from, and this sensitivity paid off again and again as he moved his family to Egypt to avoid Herod and then back to Nazareth rather than Bethlehem because of the political climate. Joseph was profoundly aware of what was going on around him, and he had the courage to act on his hunches. His courage of course came from his trust. His trust in Mary, in the angel and in his own experience of truth. And we now know that Joseph was not disappointed. When we look back, who came into the world? A Son Who was able again and again to recognize when his hour had come and to venture forth with courage and purpose.

Looking into the life of Joseph we find great insight.  We have read about him for years, but only in the environment of the manger. However, after further studying of his life, I understand why God entrusted his only Son into the care of this man. What better atmosphere could Jesus have known in growing up than an earthly father who was so compassionate of others, so open to God, and so significant in his own person.

It is a challenge to all fathers to recognize the profound influence they have on their children. Psychotherapists today are saying that both parents are vitally important to the stable development of their children - the mother’s input is invaluable in the formative pre-adolescent years but the father’s most important influence is at adolescence. In pre- industrial cultures fathers worked alongside their sons and taught them their trade. The father leads the adolescent son into manhood and the book titled “Absent Fathers Lost Sons” by Guy Corneau addresses this issue. Adolescent daughters long to hear from their fathers that they are beautiful and loved. In fact a girl’s choice of partner and satisfaction in marriage is often directly related to the relationship she has or had with her father.

I Have been writing to you who are fathers about the importance of fathering. However,  there are two other situations I want to write about briefly.  Some of you are thinking about your own father and praising God for good modeling. Some of you are sad about a father who dominated or was absent. Remember how God chose Joseph to be Jesus’ earthly father. When I came to know my heavenly Father at age 19, I was overwhelmed by his love for me. Jesus led me to Paul’s words: “I have learned in whatever state I am to be content” and I began to see my father as God’s gift to me, the one chosen to provide for me. And later in life, I spoke to my Dad, and apologized for any pain I may have caused him, thus contributing to his frustration. After having this conversation I was able to see that he truly loved me. Though he never apologized for the mistakes he made in the raising of us, I was able to look past his faults and see the hurt man he is and how much he needs salvation and healing that only Jesus can bring.   It is never too late to put things right with your father. It takes courage to start, but much healing will take place if you do.

For the last category of Fathers, there may be some reading this that have fathers who have badly abused their daughters or even their sons. My wife and I have been involved for over ten years with people who come through our ministry and home who have been horrifically abused by their fathers. These people have inexpressible pain that they suffer from their entire lives. Many, abused from early childhood have had to move to other states and even have had to change their names in order to hide from their parents. To this very day many have nightmares every night seeing their father’s face. To you I can only encourage you to continue to allow Jesus Christ to heal your wounded heart.  Trusting Jesus will be difficult, however this Father’s Day invite Jesus to begin or continue to heal the wounds suffered at the hands of your earthly father and remember, Jesus will never hurt you.  Make a leap of faith into the arms of Jesus, you will have a wonderful experience and a truly wonderful Father’s Day.

How wonderful if this father’s day there could be reconciliation as our families meet for Father’s Day. What a tremendous responsibility we fathers have. You who know and love the Lord have the resources to be the fathers God wants you to be. In closing I would like you to read Romans 8:12-15.  Read it!

Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For  if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you  put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For  you did not receive the spirit of bondage again  to fear, but you received the  Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out,  “Abba, Father.”16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

Only the Spirit of God could cause Joseph to have such compassion, to be so open to God’s supernatural power, and to be so influential in his own family. Verse 14, says that if you are led by the Spirit of God you are a child of God, and this entitles you to use that very intimate word “Abba”, used only of your own father never to refer to someone else’s - that precious relationship that we as children can have with our heavenly Father.